Some thoughts on Bullying in the workplace

[Calahonda52]

Useful guidance here for managers who care about their staff and what can be happening, as well as employees who are at the receiving end.
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https://www.psychologytoday.com/ie/blog ... llying?amp
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[Mirabeau]

Bullying is a scourge.

Just seems the author forced their research to fit in with their hypothesis.

"Each case is unique but here is a typical trajectory"
Dunno about anyone else but they made me question the integrity of the whole article.

[nlgbbbblth]

Point 1 is not necessarily true
"targets of workplace abuse share common characteristics. They are highly competent, creative, and top performers.
bullies tend to be narcissistic, lacking in job expertise, and adept at taking credit for the efforts of others"

I find that it is sometimes the opposite.
The bully is a top performer but lacks the patience to deal with people who don't pull their weight. So they shout and intimidate to get the job done.

In the workplace, the worst type of employee is the flake.
The ones who promise and don't deliver.
The ones who you can't rely on.
The ones who aren't organised and never respond to emails.

[Jack The Stripper]

Too many in office jobs and just general pissed off in their job. COVID and wfh and now back in again in the work place has highlighted it even more and until things go back to basics it won’t be sorted. There are too many employee rights.

[Calahonda52]

Bullying is a scourge.

Just seems the author forced their research to fit in with their hypothesis.

"Each case is unique but here is a typical trajectory"
Dunno about anyone else but they made me question the integrity of the whole article.

You see only what you want to see, especially if it clashed with your preconceived ideas of bullying.

[Calahonda52]

Point 1 is not necessarily true
"targets of workplace abuse share common characteristics. They are highly competent, creative, and top performers.
bullies tend to be narcissistic, lacking in job expertise, and adept at taking credit for the efforts of others"

I find that it is sometimes the opposite.
The bully is a top performer but lacks the patience to deal with people who don't pull their weight. So they shout and intimidate to get the job done.

In the workplace, the worst type of employee is the flake.
The ones who promise and don't deliver.
The ones who you can't rely on.
The ones who aren't organised and never respond to emails.

You see only what you want to see, especially if it clashed with your preconceived ideas of bullying.

[Calahonda52]

Too many in office jobs and just general pissed off in their job. COVID and wfh and now back in again in the work place has highlighted it even more and until things go back to basics it won’t be sorted. There are too many employee rights.

You see only what you want to see, especially if it clashed with your preconceived ideas of bullying.

[Calahonda52]

I posted this for two reasons:
1: so as some folk might benefit from it.
2: See how long it would take for keyboard carriers to pi$$ in on top of it, without making a positive contribution to the discussion.

The latter didn't take long.
Well done you

[Diamonds of Frost]

I posted this for two reasons:
1: so as some folk might benefit from it.
2: See how long it would take for keyboard carriers to pi$$ in on top of it, without making a positive contribution to the discussion.

The latter didn't take long.
Well done you

It is an interesting read. It's ok to have a different opinion to what is written in the article, that isn't píssing on top of it.

[BrianD3]

I posted this for two reasons:
1: so as some folk might benefit from it.
2: See how long it would take for keyboard carriers to pi$$ in on top of it, without making a positive contribution to the discussion.

The latter didn't take long.
Well done you

It's a discussion forum and at least 2 of the responses you got were reasonable. If your motivation for starting threads is to draw out "keyboard warriors" and fight with them, I'd suggest Planks.

[isha]

I have never been bullied in work before. I was in school. Because I got the top grades. And was shy and pretty.

Recently I have experienced low key bullying from a small cohort of jaded, nasty, young girls who I occasionally work with. I get on really well with the vast majority of people there, but their mean girls shit is occasionally disheartening. It's so weird, unexpected and unnecessary. They literally don't know me from Adam, they just want an outsider, a scapegoat, because it aids the cohesiveness of their small bitchy group.

So far I'm ignoring it, it's ridiculous, I'm a mature, well qualified, very capable worker. But I have found it amazing how even such a small stupid element can get under your skin sometimes. And bring up memories of school. All these years later.

The main way I cope mentally is that I have decided that if they make things too unpleasant for me, and I elect to leave I will take them down with me . They probably think I'm quiet, but they have no idea of how much of a mean bitch I can be when absolutely necessary.

[nlgbbbblth]

I posted this for two reasons:
1: so as some folk might benefit from it.
2: See how long it would take for keyboard carriers to pi$$ in on top of it, without making a positive contribution to the discussion.

The latter didn't take long.
Well done you

You got three responses - each one outlining different points.

You gave the same stock reply to all three and made no effort to meaningfully counteract what was said.

[Setanta]

Touch wood,it's something I've never encountered

Any job I've ever had,has generally been broadbased that noone would put up with bullying and just leave for somewhere with sounder people



Have known people to be utter torments,but they'd be that way to everyone,more so than targeted bullying and obviously some could/would take it better than others

[BrianD3]

I don't know if I've ever been bullied in the workplace - but like many people in office environments I have been undermined, patronised, gaslit and experienced passive aggressiveness. E.g. I busted my balls on a project, did 90% of the work and it worked out great. Then I got thanked by my boss for "helping out with it". Add that to other similar little snipes and maybe that would be considered bullying by some.

I don't particularly mind as since I started working, I was always conscious of the need to be cynical and put myself in a strong position if possible. One of the best things I ever did in life is develop a frugal mindset allowing me to save money and gain a certain level of financial independence. This is like a suit of armour for dealing with workplace arseholes.

A Man WIth Savings Can Walk Tall
https://savinghabit.com/a-man-with-savi ... from-1963/

Back in school I was much more vulnerable to bullying. Nobody ever laid a hand on me, it was more stuff like humiliation and unwelcome pranks targeting my goody two shoes mindset - for example throwing my homework up on the roof of the school so that I would get in trouble. "Squealing" about what happened to the teacher was a no-no and I probably wouldn't have been believed anyway.

The bad stuff I experienced in school was from those who were both intelligent and physically big/tough. Even though my academic intelligence was at least on a par with theirs in school, I was a weakling so when I got outmanoeuvred what was I going to do, weakly punch them, get my head kicked in and have them manipulate the situation so that they were the victims.

In an office situation, even if you are not going to be physically fighting anyone, I think it is useful to be physically big/tough and look like someone not to be messed with. Target the primitive brains of a potential bully.

So to sum up, my advice for dealing with bullies is save money and lift weights.

[DeletedUser]

Useful guidance here for managers who care about their staff and what can be happening, as well as employees who are at the receiving end.
.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/ie/blog ... llying?amp
.

I was bullied for almost four years in my job, almost drove me to suicide as I couldn’t see a way out.

A year after Covid lockdown when finally I changed jobs and the fcker left HR brought in an anti bullying policy.

Too fcking late by half.

[Mirabeau]

You see only what you want to see, especially if it clashed with your preconceived ideas of bullying.

You didn't address anything my post was about.

I think you may have your own axe to grind with this.
If that's the case, just spit it out.
Don't assume something about me when you have no idea of knowing anything.

[Jack The Stripper]

You see only what you want to see, especially if it clashed with your preconceived ideas of bullying.

Strike and a miss there.

[Apelles]

Is setting a trap on a public forum, in order just to catch someone out, not in itself fall within a similar line of thinking as actual bullying?

Anyway, It has to be over forty years back when I was serving my time. It was actually dealt out by the boss, who if he was in bad form, would take it out on one of his random employees. He liked to use the aul 'divide and concur' routine to sniff out a weakness and humiliate the unlucky victim for however long he could milk it for, even getting the others to join in along with your character assassination. Thankfully that's the last time I ever remember being long term bullied at work.

Several times on building sites, I have witnessed situations were people slagging off other workmates, can very quickly turn, and become a toxic event, sometimes, even culminating in actual fisticuffs. And Its no fcuking joke watching two 'fifteen to twenty odd stone' men, ripping chunks off each other over some stupid slagging match that went a step too far.

I also remember many moons ago, working on a site where the building contractor was on his last ever project and was about to retire. We had a girl working with us and he and his merry crew weren't one bit happy about her being on the site. He was old school misogynistic, and was always making smart comments to his compadres who also relished in his ignorance. She stuck it out as best she could for a couple of weeks, but we realised that their attitude to her wasn't about to change, so we found her stuff to do in the workshop instead.

I'd like to imagine that people wouldn't get away with picking on younger workers like that nowadays, but sometimes . . . I imagine things arseways.

[isha]

Somehow people mostly feel sorry for the bullied person, and of course sympathy is due. But I get to sometimes feeling sorry for the bully. Not to excuse them, but literally you'd pity them. Imagine knowing in your older years that you were an absolute bollox/cnut to someone in school or work, that you were that fecken miserable that you tormented someone else. Must be a horrible thing to remember/ live with. Because happy people don't bully. Only sad fcukers bully, regardless of intelligence levels. If you were actually happy in yourself and your life, you would generate that kind of cool energy and buzz around you. Bullies, sad sacks really.