Gubu.ie

Someone on boards.ie resurrected a 10-year-old thread about Ireland's (non-existent) emergency broadcast service, prompting among other replies this gem:

EVERYONE has a mobile phone in their pocket.

I feel so left out ... ... ...

My mobile may or may not (usually not) be in my pocket. Most of the time it's ... somewhere. I use it primarily as an internet hot-spot when I'm travelling, as a camera, and for WhatsApping family when I'm away from my computer (and, of course, for compromising my online banking security coz all the banks insist on it ) At any given time, it may or may not be charged/switched on/within reach/within earshot/within the walls of the house.

So should ever the government send me a "take cover NOW" warning by SMS, chances are I wouldn't know about it till whatever catastrophe had hit. Not much point in relying on local word of mouth either, as I can - quite literally - go a week or ten days without seeing another human when I'm in my normal home routine.

What about the rest of ye? Do ye live on tenter hooks, antennae quivering in anticipation of a coming Apocalpyse Alert, ready to receive it by any and all means? Or could you carry on in blissful ignorance until the Moment of Rapture?

Little point in worrying as you wouldn't get out of bed in the morning if you did. Putin claims his missiles can reach the British Isles in 200 seconds from launch, so what's the point. In this town only the Chinese Euro shop and the Norman Castle would survive - jerry built rubbish like my Victorian 4 storey townhouse would be dust. Assuming we aren't eliminated in the first strike my plan is to ransack the adjacent health food shop and then move into the castle and board myself in. Some years ago - in the light of a possible Zombie Apocalypse - I explained my plans to the owners of the health food shop - they thought I was kidding.

I don't dwell on such things,and firm believer in such a scenario that ignorance would be bliss

If I have to endure any more of the late late misery dung show it would be a fine thing.

Couldn't give a monkeys either way.

Well yerman over the way remains convinced that EVERYONE has a mobile phone and a signal, and electricity to charge it, so a third party app that the same everyones have to install is the only alert system Ireland needs, radio be damned.

First of all, the message wouldn't get out in time due to civil service incompetency. They would probably be having a debate about the placement of a single comma in the message.

If it did get out in time, it would be watered down civil service speak and undecipherable to us mere mortals.

Personally, knowing me, the first I'd hear of it would be when it lands but knowing my busy body neighbor, she would know before Putin pushes the button

Little point in knowing. I wouldn't be doing anything different anyway if a nuclear bomb went off, except trying to get my children and their partners home to hunker down here where there is a low density of population and enough (irradiated, but what can you do?) sheep and fish for us to hunt.

My new year plan in motion is to have my phone on airplane mode from 8pm to 8 am. I'm getting there with the evening cutoff, and sooooon with the morning. Plus most days I put my phone in other rooms during the day for several hours if I have focused work I need to do. Plus I have taken to leaving it behind when I go on walks because I'm gradually taking against the idea of a smart device that knows where I am every flipping step of the day.

So, the windows of opportunity for the powers that be to reach me instantly to tell me if they make some gigantic idiotic fk up are narrowing, frankly.