International Men's Day and Why We Need to Advocate for Men

[Mr Daniel F. O'Leary]

In case you didn't know, today is International Men's Day.

From the media, to adverts and other forms of entertainment, you'll hear them talk about how men and boys are awful. Examples include the Gillette ad from a few years back and the bumbling stupidity of many fathers and sons from many TV shows, relative to their female counterparts.

The anti-male sentiment continues on into many institutions, including the legal system and the education system in many, many countries.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/ ... 13463001/

https://www.kukuruyo.com/2016/02/17/spa ... inst-men/

This is because, as much as its advocates say otherwise,
Feminism doesn't help men. And is actually working against gender equality by supporting the
pro-female, anti-male laws and attitudes that are commonplace in our society.

And another (not-so shocking) fact is that when it comes to rape, sexual harassment and domestic violence, men don't get as much support as women do.

In Ireland, women have a 24/7 helpline available to them.
For men, it's only a helpline open 9/5, 5 days a week.

If we actually want to a achieve gender equality, we need to start advocating for men and boys.

[Mirabeau]

Yeah, someone should do something about that.
Thoughts and prayers.

[JayZeus]

I'm going to come straight out on this and say I think it's completely pointless to have a day for men.

You're not wrong in terms of needing to advocate for the wellbeing of men and boys, but an International Men's Day, well that's just as laughable to me as all the other international gender, sexuality, race and whatnot days.

People need to stop being absolute arseholes to each other, and expecting everyone to live the way other people want them to live. But a day won't bring positive attention from other parties to the needs or situation of those in the spotlight on some arbitrary date that for the most part passes by with no awareness.

I got to spend the day today suiting myself, messing about in the workshop repairing old woodworking tools and not being expected to do anything other than what I want. That's not because I'm a man, or because of the day it is. Fathers day passed me by, as I'm not a father. Christmas and easter will come and go, and I won't care one bit. I do what I want because that's who I am, within the limitations of my means and available time, plus the other half knowing that if I can't do these things I'll end up in the looney bin.

I'm also the 'survivor' of childhood abuse where my abuser was a non-family female. Repeated, systematic. I've been suicidal, not just ideation, but making practical arrangements. I've been bullied and harassed as a kid (like many, many others) attending christian brothers schools through primary and secondary education. There are lots of things that could have ended up with me becoming some sort of victim of my gender. But they haven't.

Why? Because family matters and they care about me. Both my blood relatives and the wife I chose to spend life with. Friends care deeply, and I make an effort to maintain those relationships. These aren't trade-offs for some past suffering. I see it as fundamental to my sense of self, my own wellbeing and purpose to do meaningful things with people who mean something to me and vise-versa.

If men struggle in life because they're men, that's nothing new. What's new is the sense of perpetual victimhood so many live in, and want others to accept to be something societal as opposed to being something they could affect themselves in a positive manner.

Be a man. Decide for yourselves what's okay and what's not, and draw a line in the sand for people who will intrude on your right to be who you are and to tell everyone else where to get off.

[isha]

Great post, Jayzeus.

I'm in favour of cancelling every International Day of the everything. They all seem gimmicky.

Just in passing though I think it is worth mentioning that this week Róisín Ingle wrote a piece in the Irish Times about sexual abuse of the boys in Blackrock College. It was disgraceful. It centred her in a narcissistic way and also sneered at the "rich" boys. No male journalist writing about a girl's school in that way would have survived a single minute more in their career. The battle of the sexes which has been profitably fostered and nurtured for far too bloody long has turned people into nincompoops. Anyway I can't think of anything else to say right now.

[knownunknown]

Identity politics is not the solution. There are problems experienced by men such as being told anything even remotely masculine is toxic from a young age by both the schools and the media. Boys need a strong male presence in their lives and for a lot of boys this is lacking. No international men’s day is going to change this, most people just see it as a joke.

It’s a sign of a sick society we’re in when all men everywhere can get castigated so quickly after the murder of Ashling Murphy. If you didn’t actually do it yourself, then what did you do to stop it?

[marhay70]

All these "days" for whomever and whatever seem to me to be just an excuse for the usual PC, Woke, Look at Me being so clued in, crowd to publicise themselves..
I have always been an advocate of the separation of the sexes, men should be men and women should be quiet.
I've never got my way though, I have two daughters whose sole purpose in life seems to be to make sure I can't be a man. "Don't do that, Is that safe?, Get one of the boys to carry that etc. etc.. FFS I'm only 22, I know my birth cert, my prescription, and the creaks and cracks of my bones might suggest differently but my brain knows best and I listen to that, and will continue to do so. My sons know exactly how I feel and don't interfere, that's how I like it.
Most of my peers feel exactly the same, the natural way should be allowed to prevail and all these people trying to make victims of men and to characterise us as being put upon should just piss off, real men will not be victims. This doesn't mean that men can't be caring and affectionate, it just means that men display these things in a different way, like making sure their family has everything they need to grow into balanced, rounded individuals with respect for others and themselves. This was the way of my generation but today we have all these know it alls trying to turn men into emotional freaks.

[Mr Daniel F. O'Leary]

I don't necessarily disagree with the people here saying that "International (insert whatever) Day's" are fairly stupid and useless towards whatever cause they may be supporting.

If the world was just, we wouldn't need them.

Especially in the case of International Men's Day, which actually gets more attention on International Women's Day when people ask "is there a men's day as well"?

But the problem is that Men's Issues get very little focus in the feminist dominated media and if they do, the media says that it's all the men's fault that these issues exist.

And I'm not exactly sure only "Being a Real Man" will fix the issues that fail boys and men in the education and legal systems in many countries, like some other poster's here say.

I think knownunknown is correct that masculinity is demonised in our society and its not socially acceptable to talk about why it's a bad thing, which ties back into my point about the media.

I also like isha's point about how the Róisín Ingle article wouldn't be anywhere near getting published in the mainstream media if it was the other way around, which goes to show the double standards in our society.

But having read the other posters replies here, most decided to complain about how I'm advocating for turning men soft and the concept of international day's in general, rather than men's issues in general.

Oh Well...

[isha]

I do think men and boys need to be told that a lot of what is promoted in the media is not fair to them. Not so much older men who developed their sense of themselves at a time when toxic masculinity was not pushed so heavily by media. But younger men have been getting conditioned about this quite strongly for a long time. I chat about it with my adult sons, late 20s early 30s, and for sure they notice. They are part of that significant group of males who steered towards martial arts, wilderness adventure, self sufficiency, craft working, as a way of staving off the emasculation being caused by social engineering. I have always welcomed that counter activity in their lives - we have always told them and their sister that they are good people.

I would add another thought though, which is something that has been on my mind lately. I think we live in a porn-sick or porn-sickened world. Genuinely I think it has eaten away at concepts of reality for both boys and girls, but especially boys, and men and women, but probably especially men.

There is a part of me that wonders if it is done on purpose, a kind of conspiratorial undermining of the fabric of society a la cultural Marxist theory mentioned above ( edit ugh, I see now it was not mentioned here, perhaps somewhere else I was reading today... anyway point generally stands!).

But a perhaps bigger part of me knows that it is simply the consequence of ubiquitous cameras, publishing platforms and the tendency for human things to gravitate towards the lowest levels. Regardless of how or why it is, I do think a lot can be done to educate people. I think one of the worst things is the supposedly progressive embrace of anything goes and constant relativism. There are huge consequences.

[marhay70]

I do think men and boys need to be told that a lot of what is promoted in the media is not fair to them. Not so much older men who developed their sense of themselves at a time when toxic masculinity was not pushed so heavily by media. But younger men have been getting conditioned about this quite strongly for a long time. I chat about it with my adult sons, late 20s early 30s, and for sure they notice. They are part of that significant group of males who steered towards martial arts, wilderness adventure, self sufficiency, craft working, as a way of staving off the emasculation being caused by social engineering. I have always welcomed that counter activity in their lives - we have always told them and their sister that they are good people.

I would add another thought though, which is something that has been on my mind lately. I think we live in a porn-sick or porn-sickened world. Genuinely I think it has eaten away at concepts of reality for both boys and girls, but especially boys, and men and women, but probably especially men.

There is a part of me that wonders if it is done on purpose, a kind of conspiratorial undermining of the fabric of society a la cultural Marxist theory mentioned above ( edit ugh, I see now it was not mentioned here, perhaps somewhere else I was reading today... anyway point generally stands!).

But a perhaps bigger part of me knows that it is simply the consequence of ubiquitous cameras, publishing platforms and the tendency for human things to gravitate towards the lowest levels. Regardless of how or why it is, I do think a lot can be done to educate people. I think one of the worst things is the supposedly progressive embrace of anything goes and constant relativism. There are huge consequences.

I see a huge difference between real men and so called macho men. Real men are a natural progression from good life lessons and good example. Real men don't have to display or prove their masculinity, it' s self evident in their behaviour. Macho men, on the other hand are a product of the times and their insecurity means they have to keep proving their masculinity. These are the guys who want to drink everybody under the table, do all the stunts, treat their women like shit and generally bore the pants off everybody. Hopefully though, sooner or later, they will fall foul of somebody who doesn't appreciate their boorish behaviour, maybe the Gardaí, or maybe another man who will call them out for their carry on.
As regards the porn thing, I'm at a loss to figure out what constitutes porn these days. I called to my duughter one night on my way home to collect something for my wife, she left me in the sitting room while she went to look for it. The TV was on and a programme started called "Naked Truth" or something like that. Not being a big TV fan, I thought it was going to be some sort of exposé. I was right, but not in the way I imagined.
To be short, this was a show where women paraded naked in front of a man in order for him to select a partner for a date. When did peoples' self respect fall so low that they consider this as as a normal way to act? I assume these women were there voluntarily, I don't know if there was any monetary reward, or other enticement but this was on prime time, mainstream tv at a time, around 10 pm, when I'm sure many children and young adults would still be watching.
I'm certainly not a prude, I appreciate a nicely turned ankle as much as the next man, but this was a degrading, demeaning display and it did little to further the cause of women or even men, a meat market to all intents and purposes. I asked my daughter and she just shrugged as if it was an everyday occurence and said sometimes it was men doing the parading. I was horrified that she would sit down to watch this sort of thing, she said she wouldn't, but had seen it before.
This is probably mild stuff compared to the graphic and violent porn that prevails today, involving children and animals and such, but to me it demonstrated just how far standards have fallen in the last few years. As we accept lower standards, then those who profit from porn will keep pushing the boundaries further and further until anything is acceptable, it's only about fifty or so years ago since TV would only allow bedroom scenes where there was two single beds, and this was for married couples.